Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Suddenly Gone

I have been going back and forth trying to decide if I would post this, and I decided that I would.
When I started my blog I intended for it to be a fun way to talk about my family and show some incredibly UGLY pics of myself and some really CUTE pics of my fam. Also, to educate all of you (my dear friends and friends of friends who read each others blogs) about Structural Bodywork and the truly amazing way it changes lives. Also, I planned to use my blog as a type of journal. I consider myself to be a deep and personal person that does not have a problem sharing my thoughts and opinion's with others. Not trying to persuade anyone in a specific direction, but also just being as real as I can be with every person that I know. I have made so many friends in all different aspects of life and I love each individual for just that. Them being an individual and being who they are. I try hard not to judge and make assumptions towards a way of life that is different then mine, realizing that each person I have ever come in contact with played a part for the minute, day, weeks and years that they were around. A lot of friends I have moved away from and maybe haven't even spoken to in years, but I think of them and could run into them in the store and still talk to them just the same as when we were last together.

With that being said, I lost a friend that I grew up with a month ago, a close friend lost her husband last week, my grandpa passed away 2 days ago and yesterday I received a call that made me sit down and bawl. A friend that I had grown to love and become close to passed away in a horrific car accident along with her 8 year old son. Her middle child was flown to Primary Children's with neck and facial injuries and is said to be in stable condition.

I saw the accidents aftermath and all I could say was that it was an extremely terrible crash. I never expected the individuals inside would be those that I loved.

I tried to put a feeling on the feelings that I was experiencing and pure devastation was all I could feel. You tend to cry and then get yourself together and understand what happened, where was she going, what happened to make her veer from the road, cry more and then suddenly break down feeling helpless, angered and selfish that it isn't right or fair and that you didn't say Goodbye.

When I had Dylan I realized that life was more precious then I could ever comprehend to that point and that life as I knew it would forever be changed. Life comes at you in a seconds flash and can be gone just as fast. When I asked Kassie's mom if she needed anything all she wanted was to turn back time. She told me that she thought if she just loved her kids enough then they would always be ok. My heart hurts so much because I loved Kassie and her children and I love her family. I spent so much time being with them and I think that is what makes it hurt more, is knowing how bad they are hurting. I think we always take for granted our time. Time to talk, laugh, cry, vent our anger, sit at the computer blogging, spend precious precious minutes with our children and our loved ones, and calling or stopping by to see our friends- new or old. We always say we will, but something comes up.

I intended this post to just ramble and cry but also to tell EVERY person who reads this that I know in one way or another, that I have had the opportunity to spend countless hours with or just minutes at a time, that I am so grateful to know you and that you are truly meaningful to me. All of your relationships have impacted my life and I take a little to grow with. Our lives have a purpose and Life was intended to be lived. Live it and Love it every single day to the last drop!


Kassie Shae Lee and Jerym Samuel Lee passed away on August 18 and their lives touched many. My love and prayers go out to the Pectol and Lee Families.

We love you Kas and Jer-Ber

26 comments:

The Johnsons said...

Kerra...what a great post! I think we all need to be reminded once in awhile how fragile life truly is. I'm glad you took the time to remind me to appreciate those special, wonderful people who have influenced my life somehow- whether it was in the past or right now. I'm thankful for friendships & for the chance to renew them--thanks for YOUR friendship! I'm going to try harder to recognize & be grateful for everything (& everyone) around me. . . like you said, it can all be gone in a flash. I'm so sorry about your friends & your Grandpa. Your family will be in my thoughts & prayers. Take Care, Adrian

Meladie said...

Ok, so wow, I am such an emotional wreck :) and I just balled through your post! It was so touching and I agree with what Adrian said how we all need to be reminded once in a while of how fragile life can be! That's so sad about your friends and your Grandpa...I'm sorry to hear that you've been surrounded by some rough things lately!! I am so grateful for your friendship through the years...I'm so glad we've gotten back in touch. Thanks again for reminding me how precious life is and to always make the most of every minute! Love you!

Megan Andersen said...

Hi Kerra,
You don't know me...but we have one thing in common...that is our beautiful friend Kassie. I was trying to find the article covering her accident when I came across your precious tribute. I too like you loved her, & thought the world of her. This has been a very hard couple of days, & I can only imagine the devastation & pain that the families are going through. Emotions of guilt are taking over my broken heart right now. Kassie called me less then 2 weeks ago...& for whatever reason I dropped the ball on calling her back. I am so angry with myself that I got so caught up in all the hustle & bustle of life that I did not stop & smell the roses & return her call. Her message will forever be saved on my phone as a reminder of perspective for me. I will miss her sweet countance so dearly too.
Love, Megan

holli said...

I first wanted to tell you that I am sorry to hear about your grandpa and Kassie! There is not a day that goes by that you are not in my thoughts. This is why I Love You, for the great friend that you are to all! It is sad to say that sometimes, this is what has to make most people wake up and be grateful and thankful for what they have and the great people that surround them. Your post was very touching to me. I want to thank you for all the things that you have made me come to realize and for always being there for me, but mostly for being an exceptional friend to me and to others. I Love You Very Much!!!! Holli

The Cavalieri Family said...

Kerra, it is hard to put feelings into words, but you have a special talent for it. I couldn't agree more with the things that you said. I am so glad to be back in touch with you and everyone that blogging has gotten me back in touch with. I am so sorry to you for all the things that you have been going through. My heart breaks for your friend Kassie's family. I promise not to forget them or you in my prayers.

Jayci said...

Kerra - I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandpa and friend Kassie. It's so hard losing those close to you & I've never had to go through losing a close friend from a death. I can't imagine the pain and emotions that come from that. I think I take the people I've been blessed with in my life for granted most of the time.

I have lost friends from other reasons that death. & let me tell you, I'm so grateful to have you back in my life. You're a beautiful person. & you are in my prayers.

The Grantham Family said...

Kerra

It was so good to talk to you yesterday! I LOVED your post and you said it perfectly. You are an amazing woman. You have always been one that I feel I can confide in and you sure have a way with words!

I had no idea of the emotional time you have had. I am so sorry to hear about your grandpa, your friend, and Kassie. You are one strong woman and I love your face!! Thanks for your words, your example, and your strength! I love you...

Fritzsche's said...

Kerra- that is terribly sad. Life is so short. You just never know when it's going to come but we all have to go. I know I'm not always living my every day to my potential and loving as much as I should and doing every thing I can every second of every day to live and be the best I can. I wish that I would and I will try a little harder after reading this. Thank you for sharing.

Teeples Family said...

Kerra, I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. There is nothing harder than loss. Your post was so true and deep. You are seriously one of the most genuine person that I have ever known. You have a love for everyone and you are so accepting.

I totally understand about not taking life for granted. After being so close to death when I had Tylie it definately has made me look at things different, and I know it made Jer look at thing different too coming so close to having to raise 3 kids by himself! You just have to keep living each day to the fullest and be the best person and friend that you can be! I love ya, Lis

Malea and Parx said...

Oh Kerra... Im sorry for all of your losses... I know how you feel, Im right there with ya. Im just glad that Kaysha has friends like you to be there for her. You are such a sweetheart and thank you for all your love and support for my sister. It seems like God is building and army right now, we should feel lucky to know all these wonderful people who are needed elsewhere. love ya!

brit said...

Kerra,
I want you to know how touched i was reading your post. kassie was such a beautiful woman and i can't imagine the pain her family and friends are feeling. thank you for reminding us to stop and enjoy our loved ones! i also want you to know that i have always adored you. that one summer was one of my favorites. thanks for the great memory!..... (that sounded a little lesbian-ish, ha ha!)
lets get together!
Brit

scott and melanie said...

Kerra, you are such a special person and a awesome friend. We had alot of fun times with Kassie. She was so fun and crazy! I loved her cute laugh. Everytime I would run into her she was always laughin and jokin around just like Peggy. I pulled out some old photos of us back in the day they are funny! I will have to show ya!We all need to stay more in touch cause you never know when something can go wrong and life is to short. We all need to cherish are friendship! Love ya an hang in there!!

The Gilleland Family said...

Oh Kerra,
I am so sorry to hear about the loses you have suffered and all those families involved. It is heartbreaking to read and I can't imagine what you are feeling. I think I take for granted time I have with my family and friends, and hearing your touching words makes me realize that every moment is so precious. So thank you for reminding me. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Love ya, Heidi

The Cavalieri Family said...

So I know I already left a comment, but I just read the comment that you left me and had to come tell you how much i love ya and am glad to be back in touch!

Keely said...

Thank you for all your help Kerra. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.

Have fun at the family reunion...I'll be looking forward to seeing those pictures :)

The Venutis said...

I saw the newspaper article describing the accident, but it made it so much more real knowing they were your friends...I am so sorry for your losses. You are so right life is fragile, and we all need to live in the moment more, and be grateful our limited time.

The Venutis said...

We got a night out without the boys...Yay! And then I bought myself some jewelry. It works! I can't wait to see your old pictures. I literally have to wax my eyebrows once a week, and pluck everyday to keep those suckers under control. Oh well, I heard big eyebrows are coming back in style, and I will be ready. HA!

Jaimelee and Steven Holm said...

Kerra, that was so beautiful. Seriously, I was really touched by it. Everything you said is exactly what I have been thinking these last few days. Ryan and now Kassie and Jerym. Life is so fragile. Anyway thank you for your thoughts. I loved Kassie very much, her and I used to be very close. I have some amazing memories with her. My heart goes out to her family. love you, jaimelee

stocksfamily said...

Hey Kerra! Finally I'm able to keep in touch with you! I just got the news a couple days ago about Kassie. It makes me sick to my stomach because her kids are the same age as mine and I wouldn't be able to handle it if something like that happened in our family. I'm glad I found your blogspot and we'll have to keep in touch!
- Chelsea Stocks

lil' bohemian said...

I cried - thank you for sharing more than your pics and your daily events.

Meladie said...

You're too cute...you didn't have to get anything for Taven, but I would love you to see you sometime!...seriously! Give me a call if you're coming up the road and for sure come by! I still have never seen cute little Dylan in person so we definately need to get together! Talk to ya soon!

Kalyn & Reid said...

Kerra....Sweet Kerra...just want you to know that I am praying for you. Wow...what a turbulent couple weeks you've had. I'm sorry for your loss. You are so brave and so strong (and through it all - even when you're scared and weak, God is there) - and you're so right...life is so precious and so important - thanks for that reminder. Go hug your hubby and that sweet little man. Love ya. Kalyn

Mark and Niki said...

Kerra!!!!! I am soooo glad that you found my bog I have been trying to find you but I thought you were still up north!!! Your family is sooo flipping cute I love it! We are comming to St George in Dec so we totally have to get together!

Malea and Parx said...

Its funny because Kaysha is crying in all of the pictures we have of her when she was little... he wants to be like his mama

Joel and Kristie said...

I'm so sorry for all of your losses! I know that your friend knows how much you love her and cherished your friendship as much as you do! You are a wonderful person and I know from experience that you make people happy by everything you do! Keep being you and know that you make a HUGE difference in other people's lives!! We all love you!!!

Jake and Heather Lee said...

Kerra.. I just got your message on my blog. Thanks for your kind words. I loved your tribute to Kassie and Jerym. I talked to Scott's sister Robyn today and she told me about the carnival you are having for Jerym and Kassie. I think it's so great that you are doing that for them. If you need any help with anything please let us know.
Heather Lee